Jenn + Vale
Our Shared Mission
Valentina:
Toronto has a population of 6,417,516, more or less the entire population of Tuscany, Umbria and Abruzzo combined. That means, even if I met 100 new people a day, not even 3 lives would be enough to get to know each citizen. Imagine how lonely it can be in such a big city, especially with an 18 month old and no friends with children.
So one morning I decided to go out and find something fun I could do with my daughter. Anywhere that would allow me to meet mothers and toddler who I could commiserate with over sleepless nights and cherish the discoveries of our little ones.
As I walk down the street, I see a sign posted in front of a home: “Music lessons for children birth -5 years old”
“Wow! It was exactly what I was looking for. ”
Tessa loved the music class, she sang and danced like I had never seen her do before.
Also being able to exchange a few words with the other mother’s on my walk back was so beneficial to my mental health.
Then comes the last day. Tessa was going to start kindergarten and I was starting a new job. In my inbox comes a Thank you note from the music teacher to all the participants. I was feeling sad and a bit melancholy as I began to read it.
Then suddenly my eyes stopped on Jennifer’s surname, one of the mother’s who did the program with her son. Toronto is full of Italian immigrants from the 1940s. I am no longer surprised to meet some of them on the street, stop for a chat and talk nostalgically of our home country, Italy. But Jenn wasn’t just Italian, she had a surname that was common in my family tree.
That same day, as we headed to the park near our music course, in the distance I can see Jenn’s 2 boys, Nathan and Adam, playing in the park. They were at the park with their grandparents.
Well what better opportunity to ask them directly what part of Italy they are from and tell them about the unusual coincidence. Tessa begins to play with Nathan and Adam and I timidly approach the grandparents.
I briefly explain how I know Jenn from the music class and ask about their surname.
Missing branches from a family tree.
Timidness turns to amazement and disbelief as they tell me they come from the same village in Campania as my grandparents.
Durazzano has a population of only 2,000, it could not be a coincidence! We looked into each other’s eyes and I started to get goosebumps! We started sharing names of our family members, and we were increasingly amazed to have so many relatives in common. It didn’t take long to figure out how we were related. The woman standing in front of me was my father’s cousin. Their grandmothers were sisters!
A 1 in 6,417,516 chance encounter. Odds are way better in getting a straight flush in a game of poker!
Jennifer:
I had just completed The Jai Institute training to become a Certified Parent Coach. After becoming a mom, 8 years ago I took numerous courses, read tons of parenting books but it was ultimately working with my own Parent Coach that led me to my transformation as a parent. I needed to help other parents to do the same. I left behind a 20+ year successful career in Marketing to support other parents struggling to be the parent they wanted to be.
It blew my mind to find out that Valentina was working on doing something similar and years prior had started a blog and was now working on a certification as a Parent Educator. Not only were we united by our genes but our passion to help other perfectly imperfect families. I had goosebumps to think that this was our destiny. That in the unlikely odds of our encounter also lay a passion for helping families. My first thought was, “Why not do something together? Supporting families in Italy, right where their roots are hidden.”
And here we are, 4 years after the day that changed our family tree forever with projects and ideas! Our hearts full of hope. After many hours of reading, writing and discussing we are thrilled to share with you everything we have learned and continue to learn as we raise our own families.
Our encounter was serendipitous and perhaps brought us right where we are supposed to be:
Here, helping you.
About us
Jenn Abbatiello
Parenting is the hardest work I have ever done and I have done some pretty challenging work in my career.
Breaking patterns of control-based parenting and learning to become the parent I wanted to be and my kids deserved has driven me to guide families around the world to achieve the same results.
End the anger, frustration, and guilt and go from chaos to calm, confidence, and connection.
Parenting is hard but you are not meant to do it alone! I’ve got your back! Read more about me here.
Valentina Nuzzo
I graduated from the University of Florence with both a bachelor’s in Psychology and a master's degree in Social Psychology.
Born and raised in Florence, I decided to continue my life in Toronto with my husband. I have done research, produced publications and worked in the academic sector, teaching psychology courses for a few years. I have been a member of the Ontario Mental Heath Association since 2013.
Considering my background, I always thought I had all the characteristics necessary to become a great parent. The psychology degrees had given me access to a lot of interesting information and my patience and stubbornness would do the rest. I must admit that in my previous life I did not spare stern looks at those parents who at the park could not manage their children's outbursts, those who could not calm a newborn on the plane or those who were unable to hold their child still in a waiting room of a doctor's office.
“I thought I will never be like that!
I pictured myself as a loving, patient, capable mother. In short, perfect. And I must admit that I had been for a few months: during pregnancy!
Then in 2015 Tessa was born. A "little creature" who cried nonstop. I left the hospital and within less than three days after giving birth my confidence was shattered.
It was Mother's Day, and I thought: “This is scam!”.
The first years after her birth, alone and far from Italy, were difficult. A challenge that pushed me to look for an educational and parenting model that felt aligned to my values and how I wanted to parent versus the “traditional” one I knew. I don't believe in punishment and I wasn't comfortable raising my voice. As often happens, when you are dissatisfied you start looking for something different.
In my research I was lucky enough to meet a wonderful lady, who spent her life as an educator and recommended some books for me to read. I immediately understood that the answers to my questions were hidden in those pages. Kept among those pages was what I was looking for: the secret to raising my daughter as a respectful person, aware of her own needs, in touch with her emotions, and able to move towards happiness.
I'm now a mother of three and a certified Parent Educator. After years of reading and practicing, I am even more convinced that the most effective way to raise respectful and serene children is to model those same tools: respect and serenity. Children learn almost everything by imitation, the means by which the end is reached, can only coincide with the end itself.
“It takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to support that child’s parent”